Is it just me?

[lexxiescott]

I've got a long rant to get out of my system. And this is after I talked to Ro on the phone about it too. Yeah, that's how angry I am right now. But I'll be nice and put it behind a cut so it doesn't take up a lot of space. *grins*



Okay, so my friend Molly (the one getting married) after dragging me to Spokane to go shopping for the dress for the wedding didn't call or even bother to TALK to me for five weeks. The only reason I know the exact amount of time is because I was looking for something on my journal and ran across the "I found a dress" entry. The thing to know is that Molly has CP and, although she's fully capable of working, doesn't. Both she and her partner live off of social security/medicare/state aid and the like. This has long pissed me off because I have days when I'm too sick to even think about getting out of bed and yet not only do I hold down a full time job, I write and am trying to get through school a second time. So, basically, not a lot in common with Molly any more, other than we've known each other for 18 years.

I took the time, when we were at school, to learn about her condition and what she can and can't do and I've always been considerate without being stupid about it. I walk slower, which is saying something some days, when we're together and the like. I've recently found out that she knows next to nothing about fibro and doesn't seem to care either. That really hurt. I mean, really, not knowing that heat makes me sick? How many times during school did I have to avoid the sun on hot days? (Ro would say "more than two")

Anyway, my phone rings today - waking me up I might point out - with her ring tone. I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep, which I managed. And I just knew that the message she left would piss me off. It did. The wedding is on Sunday. Apparently Molly expected me to either take THREE days off from work (so not happening with the mess going on over there right now) or wake up after working the NIGHT shift to come to all her parties and cook-outs and the like. Not to mention the ceremony itself. They scheduled the rehersal at a time when there is no chance in hell I'd be able to make it because of work, so that means that I'm more or less out of the whole thing anyway.

Weather wise, that's a good thing because I've been sick a lot the past couple of weeks with the wild temperature swings we've been having. But I just know that she's going to be mad about me not showing up. I look at it like this - because she doesn't have a job or a life away from her apartment and fiance, she expects everyone else to be the same. And she's either not caring or not thinking about others who have to work or sleep to be able to go to work. *points to new icon* I just don't know what I'm going to do. And I have a nasty feeling I forgot her birthday too.

Well, maybe some things have to come to an end. I'll post on Sunday and let you all know what happened next. Just once I'd like a day with no drama, no work problems (my day-shift person hit a deer going home and called me from the emergency room. She's okay, as far as I know); just a nice, quiet day where I can write, learn Japanese - my new goal - or read. Just once. *headdesk*

Comments

[icefalls-tears.livejournal.com]

*de-lurks*

I can understand what you're going through. I may not have fibro, but my Mother and sister do.

I on the other hand am I high functioning Autistic, more properly "Pervasive Developmental Disorder-NOS." That gives me several odd limitations that make my life difficult.

It really sucks when people you *know* are supposed to understand those limitations because you explained them to them several times seemed to have either:

a. Never listened in the first place
or
b. Don't care because it doesn't fit there view of the world.

For example my Mom kept insisting that I go to my college graduation. It will be next May. It will also be in University's FOOTBALL STADIUM. We argued for months before I blew up and said, "Did you forget that I'm autistic?"

If you don't know much about Autism Spectrum here's a few tidbits: loud noises are bad, large crowds are bad, dealing with people whom you don't know can be tolerated in groups of 1 or 2 at a time for a few minutes.

Anything bad causes both mental and physical stress. Just talking to a single stranger for an hour can wipe me out for an entire night. Make me sit in a crowded waiting room at the SS office and then have to argue with a stranger for an hour wipes me out for around 18 hours.

So how am I expected to deal with be placed in a ENTIRE footballs stadium full of strangers? Cheering, clapping, roaring strangers?

You'd have to physically tie me to my chair and feed me enough anti anxiety meds to down a horse. Supposing I survived with out hysterics, I would then be completely wiped for 24-48 hours.

And I had remind MY MOM of this little fact. I'm glad that she's excited that I'm graduating college, but really.

Anyway, I feel your pain. Good luck with all that paper work. Definitely good luck on the Japanese. Its a great deal of fun once you start understanding, but is a lot of hard work to get there.

Please keep writing you're one of my favorite e-authors.

*re-lurks*

[lexxiescott]

Congrats on graduating. *hugs* That's awesome, but I so totally don't blame you about not wanting to go to your ceremony. I didn't know that, but it's interesting.

Fibro sucks eggs, but I might finally be getting a handle on everything NOT caused by the environment. *crosses fingers*

I won't ever give up writing, just might slow down a little.

[ravynowl.livejournal.com]

I will say (not trying to make you do something you shouldn't) that your college graduation is an event. And it's the pinnacle of not just your dreams, but your family's as well. Would it be possible for your advisor or department head to arrange a small thing, like the school prez or other suitable high muckety muck handing you your diploma in his office, for the photo op and mother's pleasure?

[lexxiescott]

I went to mine and my kid brother didn't. I think it depends on the person and the school. Ironically, my kid brother is more outgoing than I am.

[kate-mct.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* Don't give up writing, sweetie. I'm sorry your friend didn't listen to you and expected you to do that.

[lexxiescott]

Thanks. :)
*hugs back*

[samueljames]

Bridezilla comes to mind. That's gratitude for you.

[lexxiescott]

Yeah, no shit.
Honestly, I kinda gave up when she took over planning her bachelorette party. *rolls eyes*

[yojyoj.livejournal.com]

sorry that its your longtime friend..

well people are mostly self-centered 'by nature' - all the me me me, self-righteous when its them doin & sayin others sucks when they do the same etc.. or the 'you arent my friend' when you cant/dont/wont 'sync/coordinate with them'.. ive people like this too & managed to kick them off by being evil..

they just need a wake up call & get a life..

makes little wonder why house hates people..

& she hit a deer? i know its 'common in us/uk' but poor deer...

[lexxiescott]

I think I'm going to just adopt House's philosophy. Especially after the day I had at work. *headdesk* I was surrouned by idiots who weren't speaking the same language I was.

Yep, hit a deer. Fairly common around here. The deer was killed and went to feed the local bears.

[yojyoj.livejournal.com]

i guess the bears had a free treat lol

idiots around us, just makes us want to wipe them out.. or feed them to the bears..

*hugs*

[lexxiescott]

Well, or the coyotes, crows, etc that are in the woods as well. *grins* Free meal for someone at any rate. I'm surprised the guy didn't take it home for himself.

I had my cane with me yesterday, I shoulda smacked him over the head with it.

[yojyoj.livejournal.com]

maybe you should; some idiots need a smack..

[alixsinclair.livejournal.com]

A lot of idiots need a smack. I feel your pain, mainly because I have gone through some of the same situations myself. It hurts more when it comes from someone you have known for a long time. I live in a city where self-centeredness is the norm. "What do you mean it's not all about me?"

You need to take care of you and try to deal with her the best way you can. It sounds as though she isn't paying a lot of attention to what you are saying anyway. The fact that she was planning her own bachelorette party says a lot.

[lexxiescott]

I think I work with most of them. *grins* I actually did smack a co-worker today, but I've known him for a couple years and he knows I was only playing.

I talked with my "friend" yesterday and she only wanted to talk about the wedding. I'm going to post more details now, but it kinda pissed me off. There aren't words for how I felt after that.